Amazon Customer Service Rep:
Sir, we're very sorry but your package won't ship until the 16th of September unless you upgrade your shipping.
Me:
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for overnight charges, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my package go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Amazon Customer Service Rep:
I'm sorry sir, but you're going to have to talk to my sales manager.
I actually don't like cheese at all. I live in Canada and I am into Movies, Videogames, Comics, and photography/ Digital Art. I mostly post or reblog things that interest me with the occasional review or pop cultural insight (rare).
I'm also an amateur filmmaker and an aspiring writer. I haven't had anything published but I write short stories, scripts and poems (Yes, poems cuz I'm FUCKING MANLY LIKE THAT). Also A secret novel that I'm writing never in the works.
